Gram Geeta Adhyay - 21

वैवाहिक जीवन

MARRIED LIFE

ईश्वराच्या इच्छेचे पूरक । समाजाचे दोनचि घटक । पुरुष आणि महिला देख । सृष्टिचक्र चालविती ॥१॥

There are two and only two constituents which constantly rotate the cycle of the nature according to the desire of Great God. They are the male and the female. They fulfil the divine wish of God in running the rotation of the human society. ||1||

चालावा जगाचा प्रवाह । व्हावा निसर्गगुणांचा निर्वाह । यासाठीच योजिला विवाह । धर्मज्ञांनी तयांचा ॥२॥

To keep this rotation of the world's cycle continueously in a healthy and sound state and to tend the natural instincts and tendencies of the man and the woman, our wise ancestors had designed a very systematic structure. This whole set up, established by the religious and dutifully minded seers, is called the institution of the marriage. ||2||

स्त्रीपुरुष हीं दोन चाकें । जरि परस्पर सहायकें । तरीच संसाररथ चाले कौतुकें । ग्राम होई आदर्श ॥३॥

The man and the woman are the two wheels of the cycle of the nature. If both of them become complementary to each other and co-operate with each other harmoniously, the chariot of their united house life (mundane) will run smoothly in a satisfactory and comfortable manner. Such harmonious families will make the whole village the most ideal one. ||3||

परि याची हेळसांड झाली । विवाहाची रूढीच बनली । मग यांतूनचि उदया आलीं । हजारों दु:खें समाजाचीं ॥४॥

But unfortunately the very aims and objects of establishing the institution of marriage had been totally connived at or forgotten and marriages became a rigorous and rigid tradition of the society. This stubborn rigidity of the tradition of marriage had created plenty of sorrows and sufferings in the healthy human society. ||4||

पुरुषार्थासाठी वैवाहिक जीवन । विवाह समाजस्थैर्याचें साधन । परि वाढोनि अज्ञान प्रलोभन । झाली धुळधाण समाजाची ॥५॥

In fact, matrimonial rites had been established as the means to achieve the four objectives (purushaartha - Dharma (duty), Artha (wealth), kaam (desire) and mokhsha (emancipation) and to bring the stability to the healthy society. But the ignorance and the unending greed in the human developed more and more which led the social life towards deterioration and downfall. ||5||

कितीतरी मुली असती सुंदर । परि हुंडयासाठी राहती कुवार । तैसाचि मुलांचा व्यवहार । जातींत भासे कित्येक ॥६॥

We find, so many girls are very beautiful yet they can't get married due to the evil practice of dowry system. Similarly, there are some castes in which male has to pay dowry to female's family. So many young promising boys have to remain unmarried as they are unable to fulfill the demand of dowry from the brideside. ||6||

ऐसी वाईट पडली प्रथा । तेणें व्यभिचार वाढले सर्वथा । हें महापाप असे माथां । समाजाच्या ॥७॥

This harmful evil practice of dowry system has resulted in spreading adultery on a large scale in the social life. The human society has to suffer severe sorrowful consequences of this inhuman tradition. ||7||

कुणाचे पिते लग्न करोनि देती । घराणें, पैसा, प्रतिष्ठा बघती । विवाहाआधी न पुसती । दोघांसहि ॥८॥

Fathers (and the elders) of both brides and bridegrooms decide their marriages giving undue importance to the family status, high lineage of the families, financial condition etc. They don't even ask or discuss with the boy or the girl (who are actually going to be married) while deciding the marriages. ||8||

भिन्न स्वभावांचे प्राणी । जमवोनि आणावेत दुसर्‍यांनी । कैसी रुचेल जिंदगानी । दोघांसहि ? ॥९॥

(1) The two unknowing beings having different temperaments and nature are brought together (to spend the whole life with each other) by other persons. (2) The persons, other than the bride and bride groom decide to tie them with the bond of marriage. (3) They both are completely unaware of each other's traits and temperaments. How can then their married life become happy, smooth and successful? ||9||

वडिलांचा मान राखावा । म्हणोनि का संसार नागवावा ? ऐसातरी हेतु कां धरावा । वरिष्ठांनी ? ॥१०॥

Should the young boys and girls spoil their married life only to maintain the honour and prestige of their parents? Why should the elders in the family insist upon their inconsiderate and stubborn attitude? ||10||

विवाहाआधी परस्पराने । पाहावें दोघांनाहि निश्चयाने । विचारस्वातंत्र्य दोघांसहि देणें । अगत्याचें ॥११॥

Before deciding the marriage, both the boy and the girls must have seen and got well acquainted with each other. Both must be given full freedom to think over their choice and expectations from each other and they must be allowed to take their own decision (without any pressure from the elders) about their approval or disapproval. ||11||

वडिलांनी पहावी एक खूण । लग्न करिती काय आंधळे होऊन । पश्चात्तापाचें कारण । न पडावें म्हणोनिया ॥१२॥

The father and the elderly persons in the family should give careful attention upon only one point and that is whether the boy or the girl is delusioned by the beauty or the sound financial status of the family while approving each other; so that they should not have to repent in their whole future life. ||12||

एरव्ही दोघांच्याही मतें । लग्न जुळवूनि आणावें सु-मतें । नांदोत दोघेंहि एकसुतें । संसार सुखी करावया ॥१३॥

The parents and the elders of the boy and the girl should have the welfare of the new couple in their view and considerations. Before settling the marriage, both the boy and the girl should have negotiations and should convince each other. The elders should see that both the boy and the girl, if united by the bond of marriage, will have unanimous considerations in making their married life happy and successful. ||13||

जुळतां दोघांचेहि विचार । विकास पावेल कारभार । दोघांची उत्साहशक्ति अपार । कार्य करील सेवेचें ॥१४॥

When the parents and the elders find that the boy and the girl have agreed upon a good mutual understanding and their thinking line is agreeable to each - other, they should settle their marriage. It will make their married life very happy and prosperous. When the energy of the boy and girl gets united, then it can render a concrete service to the village. ||14||

उत्तम राहणें उत्तम बोलणें । उत्तम सौंदर्य सात्विक लेणें । घरामाजी शोभून उठती तेणें । देवता जणूं समविचारें ॥१५॥

Then their conversation and living routine will go on in an excellent manner. par excellence will appear in their beauty and will bring pious, pure and virtuous adoration to them. In the families of them both, they will be adorned and praised like gods & goddesses. ||15||

विचाराविण जें जें करणें । तें सर्वचि होतें लाजिरवाणें । ऐसेंचि मागील गार्‍हाणें । ऐकतों आम्ही ॥१६॥

Any action, performed without proper consideration, ends in shame and disgrace. We have heard of such incidents in the past (in which hasty decision and action without due and proper consideration have proved a total failure) ||16||

भोगासाठी लग्न केलें । आंधळेपणीं संसार चाले । वर्ष लोटतांचि गोंधळले । दोन्ही प्राणी ॥१७॥

If the marriage is performed only with the view of enjoying sensual and sexual pleasures then the whole married life of the couple becomes a chaotic mess. In just a short period of a year, both get completely perplexed and their houre life gets completely disturbed and spoiled.||17||

एक एकाशीं बोलेना । संशय वाढले दोन्हीजणां । कशाचा संसार ? यमयातना । वाटे पतिपत्नीसि ॥१८॥

Then both the husband and the wife begin to avoid each other and even stop talking to each other. They form grudges and suspicions for eachother. Then both of them begin to feel that their house life is as painful and sorrowful as the termination imposed by the God of death.||18||

विषय-विकारें लग्न केलें । पूर्वीच परस्परांसि नाही ओळखलें । तेणें सर्वाचि वाया गेलें । जीवन दोघांचें ॥१९॥

Had they got married only to enjoy carnal and sexual desire, then it is sure that both the husband and wife had not got well acquainted and well understood each other. Then they get their life spoiled. ||19||

केवळ भोगासाठी लग्न । हें तों दिसे विचित्रपण । काय होतें पशु जमवोन । एके ठायीं ? ॥२०॥

It really appears strange to get married with the desire to enjoy pleasures. It is nothing less than bringing the two beasts together. How can there exist the bliss of happy life. ||20||

मानवांचें एक होणें । स्वर्गसुखहि त्यांना ठेंगणें । त्यांच्या संयोगें उत्त्कर्ष पावणें । लावण्यासि ॥२१॥

When two humanbeings come together with full consideration and understanding, it means seeking happiness more than heavenly pleasures and happiness. Their togetherness brings full blossom to the heavenly beauty. ||21||

श्वानांचिया पशुत्वसंयोगें । जन्मती जीव कर्मभोगें । टाकिलीं जाती सर्व मार्गें । श्वान-पिलीं ॥२२॥

The off-springs, produced through the mere enjoyment of intercourse are like the pleasure of animals like dogs which get born only to suffer for their sins, they had committed in their previous births. That is why we find a large number of puppies straying here and there ||22||

तैसें नोहे मानवांचें । त्यांचें राहणें जबाबदारीचें । एक संतानहि थोर कामाचें । दिगंतरीं ॥२३॥

Human life is not like the wretched life of cats and dogs. A strong feel of responsibilities lies in human life. If man has only one great son possessing valour in performing glorious acts and feats in the world, he can have resounding name and fame throughout the world for himself and for his family. ||23||

देशीं पाहिजे सर्वचि धन । रानधन, लेणीं आदि मानधन । द्रव्यधन, खाणी आणि गोधन । सर्वकांही ॥२४॥

The nation must possess all kinds of wealth. It should have ample forest treasures, plenty of (Leney) - (i) ornaments and jewellary (ii) Excavations of beautiful carvings in caves in the hills and mountains; Sound finance, rich deposits of various minerals, enormous stock of cattle etc. ||24||

सर्व धनांमाजी सुपुत्रधन । वाढवी राष्ट्राचें गौरवस्थान । म्हणोनिच वधुवरांनी शोधून । लग्न करावें विचारें ॥२५॥

The most valuable and the most excellent of all the treasures is the treasure of the good and virtueous son. Such noble sons should be brought up as the highest honour of the nation as they add to the high status of the nation in the world. So before getting married, both the bride and the bridegroom must have deep and all sided considerations. ||25||

नाहीतरि मरतुकडे पुत्र व्हावे । तेणें घराणें बुडोन जावें । देशासहि कलंकित करावें । न होवो ऐसें ॥२६॥

Otherwise, if they produce the wretched, bony, meagre and puny sons, the whole family will come to a downfall due to their weakness and cowardness. They will tarnish the image of the nation also by making it weak. The man and his wife must have a good consideration so that this may not happen.||26||

उत्तम बीजसि उत्तम जमीन । तेणें वृक्ष वाढतो भेदूनि गगन । ऐसेंचि असावें सन्तान । बलभीमासारिखें ॥२७॥

When pithful productive excellent seed unites with the excellently furtile land, a huge and enormous tree grows up tearing the sky and spreads up rapidly. The nation wants such human off springs from the young couples. They should be as strong and powerful as HANUMANT (Balabheem). But for producing such strong and powerful off-springs, both the bride and the bridegroom should be perfect and faultless. ||27||

ऐसें सन्तान घराणें शोभवी । एकवीस कुळांचें नांव जागवी । स्वकर्तव्याने चमकवी । देश आपुला ॥२८॥

such children will adorn their families. They will spread the glory of their twenty-one ancestral generations. They will increase the glory of their nation by enacting good deeds and by noble behaviour. ||28||

परि पुत्रांचीहि असावी मर्यादा । देशीं न वाढवी आपदा । शरीर संरक्षणाचीहि संपदा । गमावूं नये संसारीं ॥२९॥

(But remember) The number of children must be limited. The fast growing population will bring the country into the lot of hardships and produce critical problems. Similarly the physical strength and vigour depend upon semen. so it must not be wasted unnecessarily. ||29||

निरोगी रक्त उत्तम गुण । सुस्वभावी ऐसें सन्तान । हें नाही सर्वस्वीं अवलंबून । जाति-कुळ-गोत्रावरि ॥३०॥

Producing a child of pure and healthy blood; bearing desent virtues and having good nature and temperament, does not solely depend upon the caste, the family lineage (Gotra) and the race of the family. ||30||

दोघें प्राणी उपवर असती । भिन्नजाति लग्न करूं म्हणती । विचारें करितां, त्यांसि संमति । अवश्य द्यावी ॥३१॥

If the boy and girl belonging to different castes are matured enough to get married and both of them considerately decide to get united by a marriage bond, the parents of both should give them full consent and allow them to marry. ||31||

गुण गुणाकडे धांव घेतो । आपण शास्त्रींपुराणींहि ऐकतों । मिश्र विवाहाने बिघाड होतो । म्हणणें व्यर्थ ॥३२॥

It is but natural if the boy and the girl (whatever different castes they may belong to) possess agreeable and matching virtues and accommodating temperaments, they may get attracted towards each other. We find so many examples in this regard as the proof in our shastraas and puranas. so it is wrong to say that the consequences of the intercaste marriages are always bad and harmful and they end in a pitiful failure.||32||

मिश्र विवाह ऐसा नसावा । इच्छा नसतां बळी पाडावा । विचार करण्यास अवकाश द्यावा । प्रसन्न चित्तें ॥३३॥

If the bride and bridegroom belonging to different castes do not want to get married with each other, they must not be forced to do so. Let them have enough time to think over the marriage proposal and let them take their own decision with open mind.||33||

विचारें ’ जीवनाच्या संग्रामीं । हाचि विवाह करूं आम्ही । ’ म्हणती दोन्ही विवेकी प्रेमी । आड कोणी कां यावें ? ॥३४॥

If the bride and bridegroom both have duly considered and decided that they should get married and face the life struggles after marriage with harmonious co-operation, why should anybody have any objection and stand as the stumbling block in their way? ||34||

मागे गुणविवाह बहुत झाले । श्रीकृष्णें अर्जुनादिकें केले । समाजीं अनेक प्रयोग घडले । विवाहांचे भिन्न भिन्न ॥३५॥

In the past we find so many examples of such marriages performed with consideration of the importance of the matching virtues of the man and the woman. Due to strong attraction towards the virtues of each other, lord Krishna and Arjuna had got married to Rukmini and subhadra respectively. There are a lot of such examples in the human society that such marriages have been performed with different purposes and in different ways. ||35||

गुणसाम्याचे मिश्रविवाह । वीरश्रीच्या कसोटीचे विवाह । राष्ट्रांतील भेद मिटविण्याचे विवाह । नाना जमातींमधूनि ॥३६॥

(for example) some marriages of different caste couples had been performed finding that the bride and bridegroom possessed agreeable virtues and temperaments. Some other marriages were arranged by testing the velour and bravery of the young and vigourous youths. Some marriages were performed through the need to meet out and settle internal struggles between the two nations. In this way the marriages of brides & bridegrooms belonging to different castes, tribes and races had been settled & performed with different objectives and motives. ||36||

ऐसे अनेक तात्विक विवाह । त्यांत कांही राक्षस-विवाह । बळजबरीने बांधले देह । अनेक हेतूंसाठी ॥३७॥

Some of such marriages were settled and performed on certain purposeful principles. Some were performed `employing force and kidnapping the bride (Rakhshas viwaaha) and by making excesses upon her. Thus the two beings were tied together by physical power, by power of money or by political power for various purposes. ||37||

ऐशा गोष्टीस मात्र जपावें । बाळपणींहि लग्न नसावें । समजूतदारीने करूनि द्यावे । लग्नप्रसंग ॥३८॥

Today we should save the young boys and girls from such marriages, similarly marriages of unmatured underage children must not be performed. (In some castes and tribes, it is a custom to perform marriages of boys and girls when they are in their early childhood). Marriages should be settled with all sided careful considerations and then should be performed. ||38||

कांही पित्यांची असते हौस । मुलींचें वय तीन वर्ष । अथवा असतां तीन मास । करिती लग्न ॥३९॥

The fathers of the children have some strange inordinate desires and they get their daughters married even when they are three years old or three months old. ||39||

वयांत येती वधुवर । माहीत नसतो मानवी व्यवहार । बळी पडती रूढीसि पामर । दोन्ही प्राणी ॥४०॥

In such cases, when the boy and the girl get matured and enter in their early youth, they do not fully know the secret practices to be performed between male and female and what are the fine ways in dealing with each other as the husband and wife. Both the poor and miserable souls fall prey to the inhumane customs and traditions of the society which they belong to. ||40||

पुढे एक एकाशीं न मिळे । सर्प-मुंगुसापरी सगळें । मग पंचायती-नोटिसांचे सोहळे । जीवन गारद यांतचि ॥४१॥

Further, they develop struggles and quarrels between themselves, bearing enmity for each other. they fight like the snake and mongoose every now and then. Then starts a long procedure of serving legal notices to each other, or taking the issue for divorce to the village or caste panchayat. All this commotion leads spoiling the precious years of youthful ages of both of them. ||41||

कांही मुली विधवा होती । बालवयींच पति वारती । पुढे त्याची होते फजीती । लग्नावांचोनि ॥४२॥

(The most humiliating and worst effect of the child marriages is that) Husbands of some miserable unfortunate girls die at a very early age. They have to spend their whole long life as the widows of their deceased husbands. Due to cruel and rigid customs of some sects and castes, these young widow girls are deprived of human rights or they are not allowed to perform a remarriage. Some of them turn to sinful wrong ways and so get disregarded by their relatives and society. ||42||

रूढि सांगते लग्न न करावें । मन बावरे कोणीं आवरावें ? चोरूनि पापाचरणी व्हावें । तरि तें दु:खदायी ॥४३॥

The rigid restrictions of social customs and traditions prevent the young widows from getting remarried. Due to the blossom of youth their minds naturally lean towards sexual pleasures. Some of them try to commit adultery in secret but further they have to face disgraceful and tormenting consequences for their sinful enactments. ||43||

ऐशा ज्या ज्या वाईट रीती । झुगारोनि द्याव्या हातोहातीं । करावी पुन्हा नवीन निर्मिती । समाजनियमांची ॥४४॥

Today it is the most essential necessity that all these harmful and unfair, unrighteous customs and practices which have deeply rooted into the social life, should be thrown away immediately. New social rules and laws with broad outlook, sympathy and clear understanding, should be framed and decidedly implemented. ||44||

ज्या विधवेस वाटे लग्न करावें । तिने वडीलधार्‍यांसि सांगावें । त्यांनी सहृदयपणें लग्न योजावें । जीवधर्म म्हणोनिया ॥४५॥

If the widow wants to get remarried, she should communicate her desire to the elders of her family. From humanitarian point of view the elders should very sympathetically consider her desire and honor it thinking about the natural instincts of the poor soul. They should consider it their duty to arrange her second marriage. ||45||

ज्या विधवेची इच्छा नाही । तिला छळूं नये कोणी कदाहि । ती सती संन्यासिनी समजोनि देहीं । राखावी समाजाने ॥४६॥

If the widow has no desire for remarriage, nobody should force her and try to create troubles for her by employing force upon her to commit something sinful and wrong. the society should hold her as the pure and pious chaste wife or a sanyaasini or a holy nun and look after her respectfully. ||46||

ऐसेंचि हें घडूं द्यावें । मानवांच्या प्रकृतिस्वभावें । तरीच मानव म्हणविणें बरवें । शोभा देतें ॥४७॥

Therefore, with due sympathetic consideration and understanding the natural instincts and different temparaments of the different individuals, let the things happen with her proper decision. Then only we can have a right to call ourselves as human beings and will be worthy of calling ourselves as a human. ||47||

कांहींचे वडील लग्न करोनि देती । मनास वाटेल तो हुंडा घेती । जोड-विजोड कांही न पाहती । धनापायीं ॥४८॥

Some greedy fathers of the bridegrooms demand huge amounts as dowry for getting their sons married. Falling prey to the greed for money, they totally ignore the other necessary factors like proper ages, matching physique, traits etc of the bride and bridegrooms. Thus they try to bind two unfit and unmatching souls together with the bond of marriage. ||48||

वृध्द वा रोगी असोनि वर । वधु देती बालिका सुंदर । धनासाठी दुर्व्यवहार । परोपरीचे ॥४९॥

Some greedy father of a small beautiful girl performs devilish dealing of money and arranges the marriage of his little beautiful daughter with the overage old man or with some patient suffering from some disease. ||49||

मुलामुलींचा घेवोनि पैसा । जीवनांत वाढविती निराशा । मोलाने का प्रेम-फासा । पडे गळीं कोणाच्या ? ॥५०॥

When the parents of the bride and bridegroom give and take money for their children and perform their marriage, it creates a great unrest and disappointment in the life of the married couple. You can use your forces to compel the boy and the girl to get married and you can make your monatory gains, but how can you force and compel them to love eachother? ||50||

बालक-बालिकेसि वाचा नसते । तोंड फोडोनि बोलेना ते । परि हे कसाब म्हणावेत पुरते । जे विजोड लग्न योजिती ॥५१॥

Poor miserable children! They can't express their feelings with open mind and freely due to fear and intimidation for their formidable parents and elders. such persons, who arrange such inharmonious marriages of odd couples and compel them to coalesce, should be considered as butchers. ||51||

ऐशा असतील ज्या वेडया रीती । त्या काढोनि टाकाव्या प्रवृत्ती । जीवनाचें प्रेम चित्तीं । तेंचि धन समजावें ॥५२॥

It is necessary to change absolutely the tendency working behind such harmful traditions and customs. The real wealth is the selfless love of the husband and wife for eachother. ||52||

ज्याने मुलामुलींचे पैसे घेतले । त्यासि समाजाने पाहिजे निषेधिलें । तरीच हे दुराग्रह मोडले । जातील आता ॥५३॥

The whole human society should lodge a strong protest against those who demand money for marriages of their sons or daughters. When they are resolutely boycotted by the society, this obstinacy in following the harmful custom will be uprooted. ||53||

नाहीतरि हुंडयापांडयासाठी । जीवन होईल मसणवटी । अनेक मुलेंमुली करिती शेवटीं । आत्मघात ॥५४॥

If the society will not root out this tradition of dowry, it will devastate the life of the husband and wife and they will feel it horrible like living in any cemetery. Several marriageable boys and girls will commit suicide through their frustration and extreme disappointment as they can't marry due to the demand of huge dowry. ||54||

कित्येक हात धरोनि जाती । समाजजीवनीं कालविती माती । परि लोभ न सोडवे शहाणियांप्रति । पैशांचा अजुनि ॥५५॥

It is also possible that many girls will elope away with some youths as they could not seek love by getting married. They may be deceived by crafty youths or they may commit adultery. All these wrong enactments will make the social life impure and immoral. Yet the so called wise but extremely greedy fathers of the boys and girls don't give up their lust for money. ||55||

हें गांवाने दुरुस्त नाही केलें । तोंवरि पापांचें डोंगर वाढले । सगळे गांवचि भागीदार झालें । समजावें त्यांचें ॥५६॥

If the wise considerate folks of the village do not try to put an end to this evil practice rooted deeply through extreme greed and if they don't root out the harmful custom of taking dowry, there will grow up a huge mountain of sins and impure wrong deeds in the social life of the village. The whole village will be held responsible and party for this downfall of humanity. ||56||

कांही घरीं मुली उपवर । मुलेंहि लग्नासाठी तयार । तेथे आटयासाटयाचा व्यवहार । करिती कोणी ॥५७॥

In some families there are boys and girls matured to get married. The parents of these boys and girls do not take more troubles to search for the proper match around or distant from their surroundings. They settle the marriages in their internal relations. i.e. when the boy in one family gets married with the girl in another family, the brother of the bride gets married with the sister of the bride groom. (This convenient arrangement is called `AATE SAATE').

मुलामुलींची नसतां जोड । आपुलिया सोयीसाठी उघड । लादिती मानेवरि जोखड । मायबाप ॥५८॥

But this system bears a great flaw. Here, the parents the families have seen only their convenience. They don't have considered the likes and dislikes of their sons and daughters. Such marriages are some what a burden of dictatorship of the parents, and are like putting a yoke upon the necks of their sons and daughters. ||58||

मग तेथे भांडाभांडी । मुलगी माहेरींच न धाडी । अथवा टाकोनि करिती नासाडी । जीवनाची तिच्या ॥५९॥

Then after some time struggles and quarrels emerge in both the families. Some elderly in-laws refuse to send their daughter-in-law to her maternal mansion. Some in-laws desert their daughter-in-law and refuse to accept her in their family. In this way, they destroy the precious life of the girl. ||59||

कांही आपुल्या मानाकरितां । मुलींच्या दैवीं आणिती व्यथा । ऐशा वाढल्या वाईट प्रथा । कितीतरी गांवीं ॥६०॥

Some elderly individuals from the bridegroom's family make a cruel termination of the bride thinking that they were not given a proper respectful treatment which -(as their's was the bridegroom's side) they deserved. We find such egoistic tendencies growing in so many villages and societies. ||60||

कांही जातींत ठेविती पडदा । जणूं कोंडवाडयाचाचि धंदा । त्याने लग्न झालियाहि आपदा । येते केव्हा ॥६१॥

There are some sects and castes in which the tradition for maintaining veil by females is compulsory. The females have to put on the veil till they get married. This custom of maintaining veil by females can sometimes bring a calamity after the girls get married. ||61||

मुलगी पडद्याने बघितली नव्हती । आता कळलें तिरळी होती । कांही म्हणती लग्नप्रति । मागे घ्यावें काडीमोडीने ॥६२॥

For example, in one case, the bride could not be carefully observed by the bridegroom and his family due to the veil she had put on. After marriage, it was found that the girl was squint-eyed. Now some elderly relatives are pressing upon canceling the marriage by giving divorce to the bride.||62||

पडद्याचिया प्रस्थामुळे । शहाणे तेहि होती खुळे । गर्दीत पति चुकतां गोंधळें । पडे बापडी गुंडाहातीं ॥६३॥

Because of the imposing display of the custom of maintaining veils by females, the wise also become perplexed on some occasion. In the great rush and crowd, the girl finds her husband missing. She gets perplexed. Due to rush, mutual missing may occur and she may be caught and abducted by the evil ruffians. ||63||

दुर्जन बुरख्याआड लपविती । ऐशा स्त्रिया नेल्या किती । अजूनिहि नेत्र न उघडती । समाजाचे ॥६४॥

The evil wicked people have kidnapped and abducted several females and hidden them under the veils. But still, that sect or society is maintaining veil custom rigidly. It has not opened its eyes and realised the reality. ||64||

पडदापध्दति बहुपरी भोवे । थोरांपुढे कधी न यावें । परिशुश्रुषाहि अंतरल्या याभावें । कितीतरी मुली ॥६५॥

The custom of maintaining veils have imposed so many bad effects upon the society and the individuals. Due to the veils, girls can't dare coming out before the elderly persons and the strangers nor they can render their nursing services to their sick husbands. ||65||

ऐशा विचित्र कांही प्रथा । मोडोनि टाकाव्या समाजीं व्यथा । लावूं नये दोष माथां । कोणा एकाच्याचि ॥६६॥

At least some of such evil and harmful traditions and usages in the society should be discarded and the sorrows and sufferings of the victims of those must be minimized. It is meaningless to hold anybody alone responsible for all this and to blame him. ||66||

कांही मायबाप पोरा चढविती । पुरुषें कैसेंहि वागावें म्हणती । मुलीस गांजिती, मार देवविती । ऐसी वृत्ति आसुरी ॥६७॥

Some parents encourage and allow their sons to behave freely and wildly to their pleasure and on the other hand, they torment and agonize their daughters-in-law. They make their sons to beat their wives cruelly. These folks are monstrous and bear a very devilish tendencies. ||67||

कांही मायबाप मुलींचे कैवारी । ’ हूं ’ म्हणतां जावोनि पडती द्वारीं । ऐसें कु-शिक्षण नानापरी । दु:ख संसारीं वाढवी ॥६८॥

Some parents of the girls take side of their daughters and go and create quarrels with the in-laws of their daughters. They advise their daughters to misbehave and live indifferently with their husbands and their relatives. They very often visit the sons-in-law's houses to struggle and quarrel with them. Such bad lessons to their daughters add more and more sorrows of the girls in their husband's families. ||68||

कांही पतिपत्नींचें संघटन । परि आड येई थोरांचा मान । काडीमोड, विरोध अथवा भांडण । करी वैराण जीवन त्यांचें ॥६९॥

In some cases, the man and his wife do have good and loving ties between eachother. But the ego of the other elders in their family come in their way. The elderly relatives of the families of both have disputes for some reasons and they compel the man and his wife to oppose eachother and quarrel with eachother. In these struggles of the elders, the loving couple has to go to the extent of breaking the marriage and seek divorce. Thus, their harmonious life gets completely spoiled. ||69||

कांही लपवालपवी करिती । मुली नांदायासि न धाडिती । कांही मुलींना ओढूनि नेती । तमाशा करिती जीवनाचा ॥७०॥

There are some other strange folks. They hide their daughters when the in-laws come to take them to their house. The parents of the girls do not allow them to dwell in their husband's houses. They want that their daughters and husbands should break away from the family and live separately. On the other hand there are some fathers of the bridegrooms who forcefully pull out their daughters-in law from their parents. Thus in both the cases, those insolent parents of the man and his wife display the dirty disgraceful show in public and put the couple to a great shame. ||70||

कांही लग्नाआधी लपविती उणीव । त्याची पुढे होतां जाणीव । जन्मभरि भोगावा लागे उपद्रव । सकळांसि मग ॥७१॥

In many cases, some parents conceal the deformity or defects in their sons or daughters. After the marriage, these concealed defects come in the light and then the married couple and their relatives of both the sides have to suffer bitter and sorrowful consequences of the deceptive actions. ||71||

कांही बढाई दाविती खोटी । कांही रुसती आंदणासाठी । सोय न पाहतां करिती कष्टी । परस्परांसि सोयरे ॥७२॥

At the marriage ceremony, some folks go on boasting. Some take huff for not getting enough presents as much they had expected. So they make both the families unhappy and upset by ignoring the conveniences and inconveniences of eachother. ||72||

कोणास दागिन्यांची हाव । सदगुणांचा नकळे भाव । त्यांस फसवी नकली वैभव । जीवन गारद मुलींचें ॥७३॥

Some cherish a strong desire for valuables and ornaments. They don't understand the value and importance of good virtues. They get deceived by the false brilliance, showiness and superficial pomp of the fake and inferior ornaments. It further results in spoiling the life of the girl. ||73||

मुलीमुलांचा लग्नाबाजार । शिक्षण, सौंदर्य, नोकरीवर । भाव न्यूनाधिक ठरविती साचार । जीवनमूल्यें न जाणतां ॥७४॥

In the present state, the marriage system has become a markiet Nobody understands the importance of the fundamental principles that lay under the very spirit of marriage institution. While negotiating and settling the marriages, people give more and undue consideration and importance to education, beauty and the employment of both the boy and the girl. (They don't think of the virtues, temperaments, traits of the bride & bridegroom.) ||74||

कांही लग्नांचे दलाल । उधळीत जाती रंग गुलाल । मुलामुलींचें जीवन हलाल । करिती स्वार्थास्तव ॥७५॥

There are some touts (middlemen) who take part playing their own role in the settlement of marriages. They are selfish. They extract huge amounts from the families of both the bride and the bridegroom for settling the marriage. Then the enjoy all luxuries from both the sides. They have no concern for what happens to the couple in future. ||75||

कांही मुलींना खपवूं पाहती । ध्यानीं न घेतां नीति-अनीति । ऐसी लाचार केली स्थिति । नाना रूढयांनी ॥७६॥

There are some fathers of girls who don't care for or don't seriously consider the value of morality and immorality. They select any individual as the bridegroom for their daughter's marriage, These several vicious evil customs and practices are bringing this sacred institution of marriages to a shameful deterioration. ||76||

ज्योतिषासि देऊन-घेऊन । मनासारिखे काढविती गुण । प्रसंगीं नावंहि सांगती बदलून । दंभ दारूण वाढला ॥७७॥

Some pay bribes and hushmoney to the fortune tellers and get false horoscope prepared to match with that of bridegroom's horoscope. These greedy fortune tellers increase the matching scores with fake horoscopes. Many times, they even change the names of the girls for matching the horoscopes of the bride and bridegrooms. This can be said as the climax of pretensions in settling the marriages. ||77||

आकाशांतील पाहती ग्रह । इकडे स्वभावीं वेगळे दुराग्रह । जीवनांत वाढे जयांनी द्रोह । ऐसे त्यांना न दिसती ॥७८॥

The fortune tellers give much importance to the planets in the space But they do not have a considerate vision of the adamant and insistent tendency of pretensious human nature. So people don't understand the matters creating confrontation in the human life. ||78||

म्हणती वधुवरें सुलक्षण । जुळले त्यांचे छत्तीसगुण । इकडे छत्तीसी अथवा खडाष्टक पूर्ण । करी जीवन बरबाद ॥७९॥

The fortune tellers examine the horoscopes of both the boy & the girl and say that both possess good matching score and good virtues. Their horoscopes show that they both score thirty six merit virtues. But in reality we experience in the practical life that their temperaments are fully filled with the figure thirty six, which means that their temperaments are completely contradictory to each others. Such blindness in settling the marriages make the life of both the boy & the girl a desolate desert. ||79||

वधुवरांचे उत्तम गुण हेंचि परस्परांचें महाभूषण । त्यावांचोनि विवाह केला वैभवपूर्ण । तरि तो सर्व अमंगल ॥८०॥

The excellent virtues, which the bride and the bridegroom possess are naturally the token of their reputation. Neglecting this important aspect, though the marriage ceremony is celebrated in a great pomp and show, it will prove fateful in the end. ||80||

कांही ठिकाणीं विवाह करिती । वेडयासारखा पैसा उधळिती । उपयोग नाही ऐसी रीति । कासयास आचरावी ? ॥८१॥

Some enthusiastic folks squander extravagantly enormous money upon goudy celebration of the marriage. Why should one follow the custom and traditions which are impractical and useless in our life? ||81||

लग्नाचे अपार सोहळे । विहीण-व्याही-मामे सगळे । वर्‍हाडांचे गोंधळ सावळे यासि विवाह म्हणों नये ॥८२॥

The extravagant celebrations of marriages are beyond description. The in-laws of both sides, the maternal uncles and many other relatives of both bride & bridegroom gather together forming the marriage procession (varhaad or baarat). How can this shabby commotion be called a marriage? ||82||

अस्ताव्यस्त तारांबळ । उधळपट्टी आणि धांवपळ । यासि म्हणावें कार्य अमंगळ । खर्च निष्फळ पैशांचा ॥८३॥

In such rowdy commotion and untidy, undisciplined manner, the management of the marriage goes beyond control. It is totally disturbed by hectic activities, extravagant expenses and a wild rush here and there. It can't be called as the auspicious marriage and it means simply squandering money carelessly like water. ||83||

लग्नाकरितां कर्ज करावें । जन्मभरि व्याज भरीत जावें । लग्नासाठी कफल्लक व्हावें । कोण्या देवें सांगितलें ? ॥८४॥

Father takes loan to celebrate his daughter's marriage and then he is compelled to pay the heavy interest on the loan throughout his life. In repaying the loan and the interest, he completely breaks down and becomes bankrupt. Who is the God that has advised the miserable person to do so? ||84||

चार-पांच दिवस लग्न । लग्नांत होती नाना विघ्नं । मोठेंपणाचें विडंबन । कासयासि करावें ? ॥८५॥

Why should such marriage ceremonies be celebrated with pomp and show for four and five days? Why should be there so many disputes and arguments, counter arguments? All these events make the joyful ceremony a great ridiculous joke. ||85||

असोत अडी-अडचणी किती । साधिलीच पाहिजे तिथि । ऐसी कां ठेवावी प्रवृत्ति । रूढिबध्द ? ॥८६॥

Why should we insist upon celebrating the marriage ceremony so rigidly on a particular day and time which the fortune tellers has given from the almanac? Why should we have such stubborn insistence when it makes us and others face a lot of problems and hardships? What a great slavery of customs and traditions is this! ||86||

प्रसन्न हवापाणी ऋतु । हाचि विवाहाचा मुहूर्त । बाकीचें झंजट फालतू । समजतों आम्ही ॥८७॥

(Vandaniya maharaj says) The season which has a good and pleasant climate, favorable atmosphere, enough water supply and all other conveniences readily available, is the best time for performing the marriage ceremonies. All other matters are trifle and meaningless. ||87||

दिवस पाहावा सुंदर । हावापाणी सोयीस्कर । सर्वांसि होईल सुखकर । म्हणोनिया ॥८८॥

It is better to choose the day for marriage ceremony when the climate, water and all other things are favorable and convenient to all and in all respects. This will make the ceremony full of joy and happiness to all. ||88||

खर्च नको भव्य मंडपाचा । देखावा असवा निसर्गाचा । अथवा सभामंडप मंदिराचा । योजावा या कार्यासि ॥८९॥

It should be avoided to raise a specious pendal and spend a lot of money on decorating it. The marriage ceremony should be arranged at some naturally pleasant and beautiful spot or at the spacious audience pendal of some temple. ||89||

वेळ पैसा आणि श्रम । वाचवावेत करोनि नेम । गुणांस द्यावें महत्त्व परम । जाति-धन-भ्रम सोडोनि ॥९०॥

We should save time, money and labour in celebrating the marriage ceremonies. Importance is to be given to merits that the boy & the girls possess. We should not get trapped and tied by the temptations, caste spirit and money matters etc. ||90||

सुंदर करावें सभास्थान । बैसवावे साजेलसे जन । वरवधूंना समोर बसवून । सूचना द्यावी सूचकें ॥९१॥

The marriage hall should be decorated beautifully. All the invitees and guests should be seated in the proper well arranged rows of seats. The bride and the bride-groom should be seated in front of the guests, visitors and the invitees. Then the organiser of the ceremony should give proper instructions for conducting the function. ||91||

द्यावा वरवधूंचा परिचय । प्रकट करावा सत्कार्य-निश्चय । मग साधावें कार्य मंगलमय । मंगलाष्टकें म्हणोनिया ॥९२॥

First the bride and bridegroom should be introduced to all. A volition to render noble meritorious duties should be got vowed by the marrying couple. Some sacred hymns and marriage odes (MANGALASHTAKA) as blessings to the couple be sung and the ceremony should be celebrated in joyful and enthusiastic manner. ||92||

मंगलाष्टकीं विवाह-उद्देश । सज्जनें करावा उचित उपदेश । येऊं न द्यावा नाटकी अंश । अपवित्र त्यांत ॥९३॥

The auspicious blessing odes and songs (Mangalaashtaka) should bear the aims and objects of the marriage. The good noble wise men should deliver good advice to the couple (for living a happy married life). The ceremony should not have a dramatic appearance which may become some what superficial and inauspicious. ||93||

सभा असावी आदरपूर्ण । देऊं नये धूम्रपान । धर्मसंस्कार वाटावें लग्न । अग्निदेवते स्मरोनिया ॥९४॥

This auspicious ceremony should bear a feel of honour and respect for all those attending it. Showiness and frivolousness should not be seemed in any act or performance Bidis & cigarattes should not be offered to anybody attending the ceremony. All should consider it as an auspicious religious rite and perform it by remembering the deity Agni (The fire-God). This should be the spirit of the ceremony. ||94||

वडील जनांचे आशीश घ्यावे । सर्वांशी प्रेमादरें वागावें । गोडं बोलोनिं उरकवावें । लग्नप्रसंगा ॥९५॥

The newly married couple should seek the blessings of the elders. They should talk and behave lovingly and respectfully with all. Thus the ceremony should be celebrated with sweet tongue with all by all, and for all. ||95||

वरवधूंना ग्रामीण खादी । असो जुनी वा नवी साधी । ऐशा वस्त्रींच लग्नाक्षदी । पडाव्या शिरीं उभयतांच्या ॥९६॥

The bride and the bridegroom should put on the khadi apparels. These clothes may or may not be new. The colorful auspicious rice should be poured upon their heads when they are in such clothes at the ceremony. ||96||

कपडे असती ते घालावे । नसतां धुवोन स्वच्छ करावे । अहेरादि नको लग्नप्रसंगीं यावें । सर्वजनें आदरें ॥९७॥

For the marriage ceremony the bride and the bridegroom should put on whatever clothes they have. If they don't have new ceremonial clothes, they should put on their usual clothes duly washed and cleaned, No body should offer the couple any presents or gifts in cash or kind. All the invitees should attend it with loving and respectful attitude. ||97||

लग्नानिमित्त भेटीच देणें । तरि उभयतांचा संसार सुरू व्हावा तेणें । अथवा गांवाचें फिटावे उणें । ऐशी योजना करावी ॥९८॥

However, if some relatives want to give some gifts or presents to the married couple, they should offer such things that are essential and useful to fulfil their needs in house life. If they want to offer money as present, they should offer it for the scheme which will benefit the married couple, their families and the village too ||98||

सारांश, लग्नाचा प्रसंग । विचाराने करावा यथासांग । समजोनि परिस्थिति वेळप्रसंग । सर्वकांही ॥९९॥

In short, the marriage ceremony should be performed considering the circumstances, time and occasion. ||99||

ऐसा हा मंगल प्रसंग । देशाचें भूषवी अंग । समाजजीवन करील अभंग । वाढेल कीर्ति गांवाची ॥१००॥

The marriage ceremony, celebrated in this manner will be embellishing to the nation. It will help the social life to grow unity and harmonious integrity and it will add to the glory of the village ||100||

विवाहाचा जो संस्कार । त्याचें महत्त्व सर्वांत थोर । त्या पायावरीलच समाजमंदिर । म्हणोनि सुंदर करा यासि ॥१०१॥

Marriage is the most important initiation in the life because it is the firm foundation of the temple form of the society Therefore, it should be celebrated with all considerations and ideal ways to adorn this society as a sacred temple. ||101||

यासाठीच वधुवरांसंबंधीं बोललों । नवनिर्माण ओघानें पुढे चाललों । सांगोनि एकदा मुक्त झालों । सुखदु:ख समाजाचें ॥१०२॥

(Sant Tukadoji maharaj says) Hence so elaborately I have spoken upon the bride-bridegroom and the marriage ceremony to help creating a new and ideal society as well as to tell you the sorrows and happiness of the social life. Now I have got rid of my duty to guide you with essential advice. ||102||

स्त्रीपुरुष हीं दोन चाकें । परस्परपोषक होतां निके । गांव नांदेल स्वर्गीय सुखें । तुकडया म्हणे ॥१०३॥

(The sant further says) Male and female are the two wheels of the cycle of the world. These two wheels should be befitting to the pace & speed of each other. Then only the heaven will dwell in the village life. ||103||

इतिश्री ग्रामगीत ग्रंथ । गुरुशास्त्र-स्वानुभव संमत । विवाहसंस्कारें ग्रामोद्वार कथित । एकविसावा अध्याय संपूर्ण ॥१०४॥

This graamgeeta scripture is fully consented and proved befitting to the trial by the Guru, sciences and self-experiences. The twenty first chapter of graamgeeta, in which the idea of uplifting the village and social life through the matrimonial rites is widely elaborated, is hereby concluded. ||104||